How to be resilient in few simple steps


One thing is certain: life is unpredictable, ups and downs, twists and turns, novelty. We can make mistakes, be successful, feel joy or pain. Life is a journey into uncertainty and at times it can be difficult to navigate by sight. However, we can make our own some strategies that help us move forward and grow. These kinds of strategies are resilience strategies (which is flexibility, positivity and something more).

If we could observe resilient people we would realize that they have some behaviors and habits in common that could also be useful for us to be more prepared for changes and unexpected events.

The following are 2 habits that resilient people have in common and that we too should try to put into practice.

Positive thinking

Resilient people are generally optimistic and think positively. Being positive doesn't just mean being kind and helpful to others but it means knowing how to speak to yourself using positive language. The language of resilient people focuses on what they want to achieve and directs their thoughts and actions towards the goal.

Here are 2 major tips for developing positive thinking and language:

Know the desired result and the emotions you would like to experience. What do you want to try? What do you want to hear? What do you want to achieve? What is the action that will take you to the goal? What beliefs do you need to have to get where you want to go? It is necessary to see everything in an enlarged perspective and let the vision inspire us to continue.

Ask yourself better questions. Questions trigger thinking so we must avoid asking questions that stimulate negative thinking. Ex. Why is this happening to me? I deserve it? How can I do? This type of question tends to activate thinking and make it focus on the negative side of situations. It is therefore important to ask yourself questions that help us see the positive side as well because in this way it will be easier to take effective actions. For example, we might ask ourselves: "What can I do to make this situation work?" Or: "How will this event help me to be stronger?". "What kind of help do I need right now?" Notice how these questions help you see the result more positively.

Focus your language towards the result. For example, if your goal is to stay calm and focused then you should try to eliminate any phrases such as: "I don't want to feel stressed or anxious". It is better to say: "I want to feel calm and focused". The more specific you are, the clearer the direction in which to move will appear.

Change your way of thinking about failure

One of the biggest fears is that of failing. We fear our own judgment and that of others; this fear causes us to get stuck in unpleasant situations, does not make us take new paths, take new opportunities or take risks. To develop the capacity for resilience it is essential to change the meaning and the way we think about failure.

One of the most significant quotes about change says: Change doesn't exist, there is only feedback.

If we embrace this perspective we can use our mistakes and criticisms as feedback to improve, grow and do better next time.